Copywriting UK | TENFOUR blog

Why do some words work and others don’t? It’s a fine line sometimes.

TENFOUR was reading film posters on a tube journey home the other day. Here are two of them: Bangkok Dangerous and You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.

Both names are arguably bad. Though, while Bangkok Dangerous seems truly brainless to us, we thought there was something redeeming about the other.

What do you get from the ‘Bangkok Dangerous’ title? (1) The film is set in the Thai capital. And (2), there might just be some danger. We’re guessing guns, some cars and another sketchy Nicolas Cage haircut. It’s a title that’s super-clear about its audience, but no more.

‘You Don’t Mess with the Zohan’, on the other hand, is a bit more intriguing. Zohan, that’s an unusual name. Who is this man, Zohan? Why shouldn’t we mess with him exactly? Then there are all the hairdressing references. We might be clutching at straws, but at least the title makes us use our brain.

Therein lies the difference perhaps: it gets us thinking, even if that’s just a little. What do you reckon? And, have you got any favourite film titles… good or bad?

By the way, the TENFOUR jury is still out for ‘Snakes on a Plane’.

TENFOUR’s been reading a lot about writing recently. As copywriters, it’s great to refresh ourselves every once in a while.

The most recent book was a cracker: Roy Peter Clark’s Writing Tools (see it on Amazon). Over 250 pages, he details 50 ‘essential strategies for writers’. Sounds serious, doesn’t it. But the book’s really well put together. And each tool is just a few pages long, so it’s the perfect public transport read.

To give you an example, Tool 20 covers the number of elements we include in any list we write. He talks about using one element for power (’the girl is smart’); two for comparison or contrast (’Tom and Jerry’); three for completeness (’beginning, middle and end’); and four or more to list, inventory, compile and expand (’that girl is smart, sweet, determined and neurotic’).

Think about it next time you use any number of listed elements in a sentence.

Clip from Tool 20:

“Tom Wolf once told Willian F. Buckley Jr. that if a writer wants the reader to think something is the absolute truth, the writer should render it in in the shortest possible sentence. Trust me.”

If you’re into any kind of writing, this book’s definitely worth a look. For sure.

Here’s a sentence TENFOUR came across just this morning:

The Board meeting, at which the organisation’s proposed approach, which was informed by the research, will be discussed, will take place in London on [date].

Blimey.

This evening, TENFOUR saw the perfect example of how the same news story can be reported so differently between papers.

First, the front page of London Lite:

Tube and bus fares will rise by up to 10 per cent in the new year, Boris Johnson announced today. The price of taking a bus with Oyster pay-as-you-go will increase by slightly more, from 90p to £1, in January.

Now the front page of The London Paper:

Tube and bus fares will soar by up to 10 per cent in a bid to plug a massive ‘budget black hole’, Boris Johnson announced today. The Mayor unveiled an inflation-busting package of rises… bus fares will jump from 90p to £1… The rises amount to an average 6 per cent hike across the network… more than the official 5 per cent rate of inflation.

Which do you think is the best write-up?

We’d argue that ’soar’, ‘hike’ and ‘inflation-busting’ are words that jump on the credit crunch bandwagon a little too eagerly. And TENFOUR thought London Lite was the more obvious tabloid sibling of the two freesheets.

‘She’s like a moose going after a cabbage’

Times Online quote from a story about new US Republican Party vice presidential nominee, Sarah Palin. Read the article>>