Copywriting UK | TENFOUR blog

It’s been a while since we’ve done a word spot. So, just for you word spot fans: Original Source shampoos and shower ’smoothies’. Or shampoo and shower gel to the uninitiated.

TENFOUR likes the words on Original Source product packaging. ‘This shampoo probably has more nourishment than what you ate for lunch,’ says one bottle. Even better, the smoothie (shampoo) comes with a serving suggestion: ‘massage gently into wet skin to create a luxurious lather. Rinse then pat dry with a large fluffy towel’.

Firstly, we love idea of taking food into the shower… and we can now, without getting our baguette soggy in the process. Secondly, the words make you want to be back at home right away.

Most importantly though, we’d say that comparing products to healthy food is a clever, subtle-ish way to suggest they are full of natural, healthy stuff. Original Source is one of the only set of products in the supermarket that still carries the ‘not tested on animals’ message. So, are you going to tell us they aren’t made with real fruit, clouds and whatever else?

TENFOUR is positively sure about this: putting on your positive head when writing for business is a good idea where possible. Yes, we are repeating ourselves (see Eden Project post). But this is important folks.

We saw an email pitch recently which told us about the ‘common mistakes sales people make’. A long list followed with of phrases like ‘failing to recognise’, ‘ignoring warning signs’, ‘wasting time’… and the last line explained how picking up the phone to this company could help recipients to ‘avoid repeating these mistakes’.

It can be good to admit our own mistakes, of course. But we’d argue that telling someone else about theirs can strike the wrong note in a sales pitch. Does this person really want to hear that they are essentially hitting themselves over and over again with the same plank of wood?

Just a small change of angle can help. Rather than ‘don’t get stitched up’, how about ‘reduce the risks you’re taking’? Equally, ‘be more confident about taking on the right employees’ has to be better than ‘don’t take on any more no-hopers’.

We might be exaggerating here. And, horror of horrors, this post might be a bit negative too. But we do have positive intentions at heart… we promise.

TENFOUR likes books about writing. Not just about copywriting - the day job - but also about creative writing, story writing and the like.

We’ve come across a really good book about story writing recently: Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott.

This one’s not the usual two hundred pages on systematically plotting your piece and developing characters. It’s more about the actual process of writing: how difficult this can be, how things get in the way, and how to approach it all with a little bit of humour and compassion for yourself.

There are tips that cover the important elements of story. But, more importantly, Lamott tackles the problems writers can have even before they’ve put pen to paper. “Try looking at your mind like a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train,” she suggests. “You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.”

If you’re into creative writing, have a quick read of this one next time you’re in a bookstore.

What’s in a business email address - you know, the address you ask clients to contact you on? Well, TENFOUR thinks it’s quite important.

Are we being a bit harsh in saying that info@ and enquiries@ prefixes are a bit boring? Adding a name rather than a generic info@ seems so much more personal. Even if it’s a made up name - as in the case of youth drugs advisory organisation Talk to Frank.

We’ve seen some other nice alternatives too. Hello@ was one our favourites. It doesn’t have to be too clever.
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You really need to watch for repetition when you write - especially short articles.

TENFOUR was editing a press release recently, and within six short paragraphs we counted 11 uses of the word ’scheme’.

It’s easily done, and we all have our favourite words. Sometimes it’s just about getting someone else to have a read over what you’ve written before you publish.

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